Four days from now, Jordan and I will celebrate our Second Wedding Anniversary, and our third year of being together. As I look back and reminisce over the last couple of years, I am reminded of some special moments I will forever hold dear to my heart.
First, I specifically remember having a heart-to-heart with my amazing pastor, whom I am fortunate enough to call friend. We were chatting about my desire to find the man I would spend the rest of my life alongside. There is much to the conversation, but the part etched in my mind and on my heart the most is a quote he shared by Maya Angelou.
“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
– Maya Angelou
For the next few years, God and I would wrestle over this quote and my eyes would be open to how AMAZING He is and how He will FOREVER keep His promises to us. I realized I needed to be seeking God’s heart and God’s way instead of trying to figure out my plans for my life. The man HE wanted in my life forever was perfect in His mind, but He needed to put my heart (and his heart) in the right place first.
Next came the tattoo on my back. I have been through some struggles in my life. I have not always had the easiest path to walk. Nevertheless, I know that God has walked it with me, carried me through the toughest parts and given me the strength when none seemed available. My tattoo is written in Hebrew, just as the Bible once was. It says:
My strength comes from
my One True Love.
Through my wrestling with God, I realized He is my true love, not my future husband as the world wanted me to believe. He is the one whom my strength comes from. He is the one who has loved me at my deepest. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is the one who constantly looks upon me and says,
“You are ALTOGETHER beautiful, My love; there is NO FLAW in you.”
– Song of Solomon 4:7
Fast forward a few years later, and to this wonderful hunk named Jordan. We had known of each other through our church and young adults group but had not formally met. Finally, one Sunday, after service, we had the opportunity. That night, he came over to the house to take me on a walk around the neighborhood. We walked and talked for hours on end, and when he finally dropped me back off at home, there was no way I was going to be able to sleep.
I settled on watching High School Musical 3. Yes, I know…but hey, I am a girl!! :)
At one point in the movie, Troy and Gabriella start singing “Can I Have This Dance.” I’m not even kidding when I say I replayed this part of the movie about 10 times. I felt as if the lyrics were literally speaking to me, specifically the chorus:
It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It’s one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
With tears in my eyes, I called out to the Father for guidance, patience, wisdom. I knew in my heart and my mind that I had just walked around the neighborhood with my future husband. This was the man God had been shaping and molding just for me. Jordan was perfect in God’s mind for me, just as I was made perfect for him.
So, to all the girls out there who are wanting and desiring so badly for a man. For a boyfriend, fiancé and then husband…seek first God. Bury your heart into His. Find your strength in Him. He knows the perfect man for you. Let Him be the lead until He lets that perfect man cut in!